About Fathering

My kids are preparing a Father’s Day gift for me. The signs are many – quick clearing of their table, going shopping with their mother(she is not a big fan of taking them shopping) and the unnatural stops in conversation when I enter their space!

The gifts I might get


Image by Tazrian Khan

I am not ashamed to admit that I look forward to the gifts my kids give me. Last year I did not get a ‘thing’, but I got a chance to play dragon games with my kids. I was honored to be invited. This year I might get something made of papiermâché. How can I guess that, you ask? I smell it! Yes, I smelt it in their room, but saw no signs of any object drying out. So it must be a surprise for me!

I might also be getting a cake baked by a cousin, who has a bake and sell business from home. How do I know this? Well, I heard our older one speaking to her over the phone about a cake. There are no birthdays around, so it has to be for me – a gift for Father’s Day. I am not being smug, just enjoying the run up to Father’s Day.

Becoming a Father

Parenting was something my wife and I were looking forward to. While my wife got a barrage of advice from all and sundry when she started showing, I mostly got a pat on my back. Father’s are credited with contributing some genetic matter in the making of the baby and that’s it. Well, I wanted to be more. I have been a hands on father and loved every moment.

A bigger role

Recent studies show that fathers play a bigger role in parenting. It’s stupid and senseless, but I always envied the fact that whatever my wife had done in the past might have some effect on our baby. What she did during pregnancy could affect the child. What she did or did not do after delivering the baby too could affect the child. No one ever spoke of the effect I would have on the child. In the process of having a baby, no one gave me a special look. I just got the ordinary bored pat on the back. Recently studies have shown that fathers matter. In fact the way father’s have been before becoming a father contributes to the health of the baby. Most fathers would have loved not having this kind of influence, but I love it. It makes our children more ours rather than more the ‘mother’s’. Does that make sense? I used to be a little disappointed that the kids were not more tightly tied to me, but now I am not complaining!

I know Families Matter. I know kids need their mothers more than their fathers, especially in the younger ages. I know there are parents and super parents. I know all this, but I always like to know that I am tied in tight with my kids – biologically, emotionally, psychologically and in practical everyday life. I am an involved father.

All the more reason to look forward to Father’s Day. I am intrigued and impatient to see what I’ll get and I am glad the kids don’t read my blog!


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